March 6, 2009

Coming Attractions

ENTERTAINMENT - The following is a list of movies coming out this Spring.


Race to Witch Mountain

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, AnnaSophia Robb, Carla Gugino
Plot: In this remake/reboot of the Disney science-fiction series two mysteriously gifted teens and their reluctant protector race to prevent an alien invasion.
Review: Bla, nothing special.

Starring: Toni Servillo, Gianfelice Imparato, Salvatore Cantalupo
Plot: A defiantly unglamorous sort of mob movie, this Cannes prize winner from Italy exposes the inner workings of a crime syndicate in Naples.
Review: Has potential.



Starring: Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti
Plot: Two corporate spies (and ex-lovers) team up to get back at a company that burned them in writer-director Tony Gilroy's follow-up to Michael Clayton.
Review: Capitalizes on viewers' anger about corporate weasels.


Monsters vs. Aliens

Starring: Voices of Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Hugh Laurie
Plot: In this 3-D animated feature from the DreamWorks team behind Shrek and A Shark's Tale, a ragtag crew of mutant humans helps defend the Earth from – you guessed it – an alien invasion.
Review: 3-D Aliens? Sweet.

Before Tomorrow
Starring: Peter-Henry Arnatsiaq, Madeline Ivalu, Paul-Dylan Ivalu
Plot: Named the best Canadian first feature at TIFF last September, this film tells of an elderly Inuit woman and her grandson who struggle to survive in the Far North after their community is devastated.
Review: Worried about the Arctic melting? This film is for you.



Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Ryan Reynolds
Plot: Young amusement-park employees get up to no good in this comedy by Superbad director Greg Mottola.
Review: Woohoo! 80s Nostalgia!

Fast & Furious
Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez
Plot: The stars of the original The Fast and the Furious movie reunite to bring down a heroin operation and to race some more hot cars.
Review: Crappy sequel. Vin Diesel is going downhill.



Starring: Michael Fassbender, Liam Cunningham, Stuart Graham
Plot: The debut feature by Steve McQueen recounts the circumstances surrounding the early-1980s hunger strike by Bobby Sands and other members of the IRA.
Review: Lots of potential.

Observe and Report
Starring: Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Ray Liotta
Plot: A dim-witted mall security guard gets a chance to shine when he becomes part of a police operation to catch a flasher.
Review: Shopping mall shopping sprees... yawn.


17 Again

Starring: Matthew Perry, Zac Efron, Leslie Mann
Plot: An unhappy man gets a chance to rewrite his life story when he's mysteriously transformed back into his teenage self.
Review: Has potential.

Crank: High Voltage
Starring: Jason Statham, Dwight Yoakam, David Carradine
Plot: Despite dying at the end of its adrenalize high 2006 predecessor, Chev Chelios is back for more abuse as he hunts the baddies who have his heart – literally.
Review: Oh gawd, make it stop!


The Soloist

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jamie Foxx, Catherine Keener
Plot: Adaptation of the memoir by Steve Lopez, a reporter befriends a Juilliard-trained violinist he discovers living on skid row in Los Angeles.
Review: Good if you like dramas/feel good movies.


X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston
Plot: Wolverine, a sensitive young mutant with super-human healing powers and sense of smell copes with life with an indestructible metal skeleton and beats up the baddies.

The Ghost of Girlfriends Past
Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Emma Stone
Plot: An incorrigible ladies' man gets a supernatural kind of comeuppance when he is taught some harsh lessons by the ghosts of former girlfriends on the eve of his younger brother's wedding.
Review: Chick Flick Lovers? Go for it.


Star Trek

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Pinto, Simon Pegg
Plot: J.J. Abrams and his young cast boldly go where umpteen Star Trek TV shows and feature films have gone before.
Review: CRAP! They've ruined Star Trek by hiring no talent actors for their looks and focusing on sex appeal/brawn.

Starring: Scott Speedman, Arsinee Khanjian, Rachel Blanchard
Plot: A Toronto teen's phony claims to be the offspring of would-be bombers sparks an inquiry into the real history of his parents' tragic demise.
Review: Interesting...

MAY 15

Angels and Demons

Starring: Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor, Stellan Skarsgard
Plot: In this sequel to The Da Vinci Code, more of the Vatican's best-guarded secrets are brought to light by intrepid professor Robert Langdon.
Review: Looks good. Possibly even better than the first.

MAY 22

Terminator Salvation

Starring: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Bryce Dallas Howard
Plot: The science-fiction franchise launched by James Cameron's 1984 hit enters its latest incarnation by returning to the early days of warfare between humans and machines.
Review: Yeehaw!

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Starring: Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill, Robin Williams
Plot: Statues and dioramas get lively once again as Stiller and his co-stars cause a ruckus in another American institution.
Review: Please... please stop the horror.

MAY 29

The Brothers Bloom

Starring: Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel Weisz
Plot: In this caper movie by Brick director Rian Johnson, sibling con men meet their match when they try to bilk an heiress who's just as crafty.
Review: Potential. Maybe.

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