Argentina legalizes same-sex marriage

SEX - Argentina became the first country in South America to legalize gay marriages and that gays and lesbians have all the legal rights, responsibilities and protections that marriage brings to heterosexual couples.

The Senate vote today was 33 in favour, 27 against and 3 abstained. It had already been approved of in the lower house and President Cristina Fernandez is also a supporter.

The paperwork and forms for getting a marriage license in Argentina have yet to be altered to reflect the changes, but already legalized marriages are going ahead as scheduled.

The changes happened despite huge efforts by the Roman Catholic Church, Pope Benedict in Rome and 60,000 Catholics marching on the Argentinian Congress in a huge demonstration. Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, the leader of Argentina's anti-gay movement had this to say: "children need to have the right to be raised and educated by a father and a mother."

As opposed to all those single mothers or fathers who end up raising their kids alone? Utter hogwash.

But they weren't the only crowd there. An equally large crowd of 70,000 gay activists and supporters chanted enthusiasm for the new changes while police cordoned off the two groups to protect them from possible anti-gay violence.

Argentina has already married 9 gay couples prior to today, after persuading judges that their constitutional rights were being violated by not allowing them the freedom to get married to the person they love. Other judges tried to overturn these marriages in court and it eventually had to be argued in the government.

Same sex civil unions (which is different from a marriage) are already legal in Uruguay, several states in Mexico and Brazil. Colombia recently gave same-sex couples inheritance rights and allowed them to add their partners to health insurance plans.

In North America Canada has already legalized same-sex marriages, but in the United States it varies from state to state.

"Today's historic vote shows how far Catholic Argentina has come, from dictatorship to true democratic values, and how far the freedom to marry movement has come, as twelve countries on four continents now embrace marriage equality," said Evan Wolfson, who runs the U.S. Freedom to Marry lobby.

See Also
Freedom of Expression, Freedom of Marriage
South Africa passes same-sex marriage
Harper Flip Flops on Same Sex Marriages
Rotten Marriages Vs Gay Marriages

Happiness, Conversation & Memory Skills

By Charles Moffat - March 2010.

HEALTH - On my lap as I type this is the book "Auto Repair for Dummies"... Its not that people who read such books are dumb, its just that the "Blankety Blank Book for Dummies" are so comprehensive and user friendly that I highly recommend them for practical any topic.

ie. Killing Zombies for Dummies.

See? Does it really matter? A comprehensive guide to how to kill zombies and survive the zombie apocalypse. Sounds like a book we could all read.

The reason I am reading Auto Repair for Dummies is not because I need to fix something. Its more for general knowledge, for fun. I just like learning things and my eidetic memory is such that I remember every word I read. I am also learning American Sign Language and read books like the Police Officer's Manual and Pocket Reference Guide's for fun...

Now the reason I speak of these is because there is a new study out linking happiness to have lengthy indepth conversations, frequently drawing upon memory of pop culture facts, trivia, general knowledge, niche topics and interesting facts. The study published in the journal "Psychological Science" has discovered that happy people tend to engage in lengthy conversations rather than simply small talk.

Let me elaborate... I bumped into an elderly man today at the grocery store who quite cheerfully commented on the fruit juices I was trying to decide upon. The next thing we know we're chatting about ingredients in ice cream, red dye made from beetles, artificially flavouring, etc... the kind of conversation that wouldn't happen if:

A. Either of us knew nothing about the topic.

B. If either of was in a bad mood and unwilling to talk.

Eventually I shook his hand and walked away to finish my shopping. We could have stayed and made small talk (or discovered a more engaging topic to discuss), but we both had things to find and purchase.

The point the study leads to is that grumpy people generally don't make an effort to make conversation, especially with strangers. They just want to finish whatever they are doing and get out.

Likewise people only want to talk about things they are interested in and know something about. I can't really have a conversation about French literature because I know NOTHING about the topic and would probably find it boring. That doesn't mean it is boring, simply that I don't know enough about it to find it interesting.

Because I like cars however it makes perfect sense to brush up on my knowledge of cars, how they work, how to fix them and presumably this will be useful sometime in the future either for fixing a car or during conversations about cars or automotive repair.

However this study also points to another aspect... people who engage in conversation are also more likely to be happy. (Which came first, the chicken or the egg?) The concept here is the reverse... people who engage in conversation feel their moods brighten because they are talking about things they enjoy, this releases happy endorphins into the blood and results in us feeling amused.

So if you're unhappy pick a topic you like and spark up a conversation with someone with a similar interest. This boosts your level of happiness and results in a cyclical effect of more happiness = more conversations = even more happiness and so on.

The same goes with other things like fun activities, sports, sex, human companionship, etc. If you're happy with the relationships around you then you will be happier overall, which makes you more motivated, more industrious and effective at your life.

In a bad relationship at home? Its probably effecting your mood at work and vice versa.

The study determined the following based on monitoring 79 students with digital recorders for 4 days:

The happiest person in the study had twice as much engaging conversations and less than a third of the small talk compared to the unhappiest person. Similar results were found for the other 77 students who were comparatively happy, not happy or more neutral (and ranked accordingly over a period of 4 days).

According to the researchers humans like to find meaning in the world around them and engage in conversation discussing the meanings. More meaningful conversations in our lives leads to more happiness...

In reverse people who engage in small talk have little in common with the other person and consequently feel less happy.

The researchers are now working on a second study to determine if its possible to deliberately trigger happiness via engaging conversations.

According to the study the effect seems to be strongest for men, who enjoy meaningful conversations more than women and see a stronger increase in their happiness levels. I think the reason is because men find it more difficult to find common ground with other men... Men have a narrow list of conversations they can usually discuss... sports, cars, computers, breasts, guns, swords... you know so-called "manly things". Thus when men stumble upon a conversation with someone they can really enjoy it creates a stronger effect.

Getting Drunk on Valentines Day

SEX - Remember a couple years ago how you got drunk after work at the office Valentines Party and ended up drunk dialing your ex using the office phone system?

Please don't do that again this year.

In fact please don't do anything resembling that. If you're lonely, watch a comedy movie or read a book with lots of violence in it. Avoid anything sappy. Forget what day it is. Whatever you do don't start drinking from every bottle of your wine collection, ranting about how love sucks on your wine blog and then trip on your bathroom rug, bang your head on the toilet seat and dislodge a tooth.

After all it might be very difficult trying to find a Toronto dentist on Valentines Day.

Another thing you shouldn't do is go on Facebook at the last minute and try to find someone to hang out with. If you're relatively normal I recommend the Plenty of Fish website, or if you lean towards the gothic try Goth Personals Canada.

Or maybe you could channel your loneliness into your artwork, in the form of paintings, sculpture or photography. You could then waste some time filling out online forms for photography contests like Lenzr or the thousands of painting contests that happen every year... my apologies but I've never seen a sculpture contest online.

When all else fails watch a really brutal action movie where everyone dies in the end. That should take your mind off the fact that you're all alone on Valentines.

See Also:
Follow the Lilith eZine on Facebook

The Capitalization of Love

SEX - In recent years it seems like love is constantly becoming more and more connected to money. Let's cite some examples:

#1. Online personals charging $XX / month.

#2. Matchmaking services charging an arm and a leg.

#3. People marrying for wealth and/or fame.

#4. People getting divorces over family finances.

Its no wonder people exaggerate their personal finances when filling out a form for an online personals. Everyone wants to marry someone rich because they're dreaming of all the financial benefits that will come with it.

The thing is there is a shortage of rich stupid people out there (excluding celebrities, because they're rare in the first place) who will marry people on short notice and then forget to ask their husband or wife to be to sign a prenup.

We live in a fast paced consumer culture these days wherein the internet is quickly becoming our primary source of communication. We can hire a mobile application developer to create program applications for our iPhone, we can get car insurance quotes online, order health products from a natural medicine clinic online, order ballet or classical music tickets... heck we can even order pizza or groceries online!

(Does anyone know a place where I can order a hamburger or a steak and have it delivered?)

And depending what websites you go to you could also get a Russian or Chinese mail order bride, a female or male prostitute for the night... or even a dominatrix if that is what you want... to say nothing of all the websites promoting their lines of sex toys, condoms, corsets, lingerie, dildos, etc. Thanks to the internet many of these products and services are now just a click away.

What it makes you realize its not so much about the commodification of LOVE, but sex as a commodity that can be bought, sold and traded.

And I am not immune to this. I have to admit I am a hypocrite. I own Goth Personals Canada and receive a cheque every year based on the number of people who sign up for free. Its not a lot, but it will help pay for my post-xmas credit card bill.

The thing however is money + sex = sexual slavery. Sex isn't supposed to be about money... its about having FUN. (I won't stoop to saying sex is about love between a couple, but frankly I see nothing wrong with platonic sex for the pure pleasure of it, with the understanding that both sexual partners are enjoying it.)

Recently there was a big scandal in Toronto because the TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) turned down an advertising campaign that would have went on the sides of street cars and buses by Ashley Madison... for those that don't know Ashley Madison is an online company which promotes adultery and husbands/wives cheating on their respective others with other people's husbands and wives. Its essentially a personals website, but specifically for people looking to cheat. (Their tagline is "Life is Short, Have an Affair!")

And of course there's always a fee involved.

In contrast there are very few personals websites out there which are free (or supported by advertising)... two examples I can name are Plenty of Fish and OkCupid.

In the name of research (and possibly finding a date for Valentines) I've joined quite a few personals websites and determined very quickly that the pay-personals are essentially a waste of time and money. Why? Because very often you have to pay to send a message to someone you like, you have to pay AGAIN to receive a message from someone too. Thus even if you find someone on a particular personals site that you like, and you pay to send them a message, they won't actually be able to receive that message unless they also pay for it.

Thus free personals websites make much more sense for consumers because then they can choose to spend extra money for a premium listing (and the website makes money anyway off advertising revenue).

What are people really looking for?

Mind-blowingly good sex? (Which frankly seems to be a myth.)

Love and companionship? (The kind of person you want to spend time with, never get bored of and you can enjoy activities like trying Indian food, throwing snowballs at each other, entering Lenzr photography contests, counting down New Years Eve together [Happy 2010 by the way!], showering together (I presume sex will be involved), breakfast in bed, the joys of having children and of course growing old and decrepit together.

I think people have set really high standards for their love and sex lives, but at the same time we NEED standards because otherwise people would be getting married willy-nilly and getting divorces soon after (a % of the population is doing that already). Thus standards are there because we want to meet someone compatible, who won't be a waste of time and cause emotional trauma or end in divorce.

Perhaps that is why love is becoming so capitalized... because people are developing even higher standards (the magazines with "50 Ways to Please Your Man" aren't helping either) in such a way that they expect their ideal man to have the charm/sophistication of a celebrity, the good looks of a supermodel, and the sexual capabilities of a porn star (a lot of women out there will be sorely disappointed when they find out the average man only lasts 5 minutes)... taken in context those standards are ridiculously high.

THE PERFECT MATE
1. Very sexy & good in bed.
2. Kind, Considerate & Affectionate.
3. Funny, Charming & Romantic.
4. Would never lie to you.
5. Rich to boot!

Plus!!!
6. Has similar religious/political beliefs.
7. Likes pets / wants children.
8. Doesn't have any mental issues / gambling problems.
9. Is not an alcoholic or a smoker.
10. No annoying quirks or habits.

Wait there's more!!!
11. Is athletic / not lazy.
12. Can cook / do chores around the house.
13. Handy with tools / sewing supplies.
14. Similar artistic / musical tastes.
15. Doesn't make annoyingly long lists.

And in theory people could add to this list as much as they want. The point I am making some of these 'requirements' are going to have to be ignored if people sincerely want to find love.

You know when a friend of yours is dating someone and some of their family members / friends don't approve of the person? ("Oh, he's just not right for you..." etc.) And then they cite reasons as to why the person isn't right for them... well the truth is nobody is really "right" for anybody. Nobody is 100% compatible. But 90% is pretty damn close and the 10% that they disagree on things is the spice that makes marriage interesting.

People who find love should hold onto it, not just throw it away because their friends/family disapprove.

Scientology Vs Gay Marriages

RELIGION/SEX - Its nothing new that organized religions tend to discourage or frown upon all things sexual. The Vatican for example is still trying to prevent their priests from marrying (although some manage to do so anyway) and they have been pretty successful in some parts of the world when it comes to discouraging condom use (much to the detriment of southern Africa which is now been ravaged by AIDS) and gay marriages...

So it comes really as no surprise the Cult Church of Scientology which supports the banning of gay marriages.

For example Paul Haggis (the writer/director of the film Crash) recently quit the Church of Scientology after being an active member for 35 years. Why? Because the California chapter of the church supported Prop 8 in California, which effectively banned gay marriages in that state.

Haggis contacted various members of his church, demanding to know why they had supported Prop 8. They replied that "heads would roll" and that an explanation was forthcoming... but it never happened. Apparently the Church of Scientology is just as bad as the Vatican is when it comes to returning emails / investigating their own misdoings.

Scientology as a faith was founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard in 1953. Its essentially a cult that believes alien spirits are trapped inside the bodies of humans and only by embracing the Scientology way of life can you free yourself from this prison. Kudos to L. Ron Hubbard for having a sense of humour and starting his own religion as a joke.

I'm not kidding. Its almost as bad as zombie Jesus rising from the grave and a fictional afterlife in the clouds.

But its worse than it seems. Scientology has been exposed as a complete hoax. It was never intended to be taken seriously, but as Americans are wont to do they just love to defend their obsessions with religion.

According to recent news headlines:

* Scientology church leader David Miscavige routinely beats up his subordinates in order to keep them following his orders. He's basically a mini Mussolini.

* Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis walked out of an interview on the ABC program Nightline when he was asked about Lord Xenu, the intergalactic tyrant that supposedly trapped alien spirits here on Earth.

* Celebrity John Travolta's son Jett died because of 'detoxification' treatments he was getting from the Church of Scientology instead of from a hospital.

* In June the St. Petersburg Times published a lengthy package of information about the inner workings of Scientology, their beliefs and how the church is run by a bunch of millionaire low-lifes leeching off the money of their "believers". The information was garnered from high-ranking members who have since left the church in disgust.

It seems to me that if people are leaving the Church of Scientology in disgust and later exposing it as a fraud, a hoax and a moneymaking scheme that its not a "faith" but more of an elaborate scam.

In which case the IRS should be interested because the "Church of Scientology" has been refusing to pay taxes for decades.

---

NOTE TO SELF: Make a new religion called "The Church of Intelligent Design" and use it as a front for a website design / architecture / industrial design business so all the workers don't have to pay taxes.

Personals and Love up during Recession

SEX - Love and sex are recession proof, so says business owners.

Sex and condom shops, fetish shops and personals websites are making huge profits right now. Why? Because when people want to save money and have fun, they go for the basics: Good Ol' Fashioned Sex.

Personals websites (ie. Goth Personals Canada) are seeing a huge boost in profits and some companies are seeing their best year ever.

Alcohol sales are also up.

But don't think for an instant that this will result in a skyrocketing marriage and birth rate, quite the opposite. Birth control sales are up dramatically, and many young adults are holding back from getting married and/or having kids until they can afford to do so.

CREDIT SCORE DATING

Those who are thinking about marriage are starting to be cautious about it... some of them are even doing credit checks of potential partners.

A recent survey of singles shows that 80% are being more selective about partners because they don't want to get involved with someone in debt (often because their ex had money troubles).

Usually people don't like to discuss money on a first date. Its considered too superficial and serious.

"Money thing, that's serious stuff. I'll worry about that later," says one participant at a speed dating event, but admits he's worried about financial stability.

"I know a lot of my friends, their financial situations are difficult right now," adds another participant.

A lot of people are in financial trouble right now, so for those that don't have a lot of money keeping things casual seems to be the better option.

"I met a few female lawyers who told me that they had extreme -- like $240,000 -- debt and yes, that would be an impediment," says one man. Checking credit ratings might also be a good way to check if a person is a liar when it comes to finance issues.

"Before you get involved in a relationship or anything, FICO first, then sex," says finance guru Suze Orman. There are plenty of websites out there that can check a person's credit rating, and even an online dating site called CreditScoreDating.com, where singles look for love and weed out low-credit scores.

But credit score dating is a double-edged sword.

It means you're limiting yourself to people with lots of cash and a good record of paying off their debts, but will they be attractive and compatible? You're still taking a chance.

Also credit scores don't mean a person doesn't have lots of debt, it just means they're good at paying their bills on time. For all you know they could be swimming in debt and are barely managing to pay their bills...

84% of singles admitted in a Match.com survey they are more selective about who they date during a recession. As it stands online dating websites are reporting a surge in business, because it is cheaper to find a date online then going to the bar scene.

Just remember, it was greed that got us into this financial mess in the first place. Will love and caring about people get us out of it?

Singles & Board Games

ENTERTAINMENT/SEX - Looking for love but tired of the bar scene? Looking for someone fun and playful?

Young and old singles are turning to board games to meet potential new lovers. Its not a new idea. My grandfather met his new wife while playing Euchre with other senior citizens.

But it is a new idea for young singles to be resorting to finding Mr Right and Mrs Right in the Dining Room with the Candlestick... and the best part is you don't have to wear your high heels.

Or brave the cold winter nights. Bring some wine, snacks, your favourite board games or even go to a bar/restaurant that has its own board games (there are restaurants that cater to this growing market).

Most Popular Board Games
1. Monopoly
2. Risk
3. Clue
4. Scrabble
5. Pictionary
6. Backgammon
7. Battleship
8. Stock Ticker
9. Checkers
10. Chess

And for the geeks out there, there is also Dungeons & Dragons, Star Wars d20 and a variety of other Role-Playing Games. And if that's not your thing there's also video games and computer games like Counter-Strike... although good luck finding women who are into violent video games that are NOT taken already.

For people who like playing matchmaker all you have to do is invite all your single friends over for a night of fun and cross your fingers to see if sparks fly. Or not. They might end up fighting over Park Place...

The American recession is also helping push this new movement. Its cheaper than conventional pubs and restaurants and game-maker Hasbro says it is expecting to do brisk business as the economy forces people to think a little more creatively about how to have fun cheaply. Heck, Hasbro's bestseller of all time, Monopoly, was created during the Great Depression.

"Historically, sales have increased during an economic downfall," says Hasbro spokesperson Sandra Paulini, adding, "so we expect this to be the case now."

There's also the nostalgia issue. A lot of these singles grew up playing these games with friends and family. It brings back wonderful feelings and promotes a sense of wellbeing and happiness despite the dismal economic times.

Canadian builds robot daughter Aiko

By Ai Lung Nguyen - December 2008.

TECHNOLOGY - A Canadian man from Brampton has become an Internet celebrity in the last two days after his "robot daughter" was featured on the websites of two British tabloids. The tabloids initially reported that she was his girlfriend, but creator Trung Le has since corrected that. The internet buzz is so much that the website project-aiko.com is currently not available.

"She's not really my girlfriend. I have friends – I don't need to create friends," say Trung Le, explaining he is more like her father and teacher. "Aiko's a robot who can do a lot of things, and hopefully more soon."

Aiko is a 5-foot-tall robot with an hourglass figure, shiny real hair (from Japan), delicate Asian features and silicone breasts. Aiko – which means love child in Japanese – can speak about 13,000 sentences in Japanese and English (and learns new things to say every day), do algebra, trigonometry and geometry, and tell the weather in foreign cities by accessing the internet.

Aiko still needs to learn how to walk but she can move her hands, nod her head and can do push-ups, and sit-ups just like a human. She can also mimic pain and shout indignantly if touched roughly. When lightly slapped she cries out: "It's not nice to touch a girl's head. Touch your own head." Trung Le is now trying to teach her to make tea and coffee, and do simple household chores, but its difficult to fine tune the things he teaches her but she does learn given time. Walking and eventually running and jumping is on his list of things to do.

"I know it is still far out of reach to make a true android like human, but one step at a time." - Trung Le.

Inventor Trung built his first robot when he was 8, says Aiko is the result of his years of planning, calculations and hard work. He began her assembly in August of 2007 and was done two months later after costing him about $25,000. Trung Le, now 33, was born in Vietnam and grew up partly in Japan, where robots are extremely popular both in real life and in fiction/animation, including notable examples like Astro Boy.

Trung is marketing the software used to create Aiko, BRAINS (Biometric Robot Artificial Intelligence Neural System) which took years to create and is improving the software daily. The BRAINS software is a unique software which was created to control AI, speech, reading, math, vision, colors, hearing, automation, sensors, temperature, face and object recognition. Trung also hopes to create life-like mechanical limbs for disabled people that can register sensations.

This is not the first time people have built a functioning android. "Actroid" for example was built by Osaka University in Japan and features some similar functions.

Skeptics have also heckled the robot girl during public showings, with people calling her a fake and suggesting there is someone controlling her movements and voice. One elderly woman even got hostile, yelling and throwing rocks, saying Trung Le was "trying to be God and it isn't right."

So far Trung Le has taken her to a Brampton park three times and also to the Toronto International Center Exhibition in 2007. Women, in particular, have been fascinated. Some touched her breasts to feel the silicone, he said. "Most people have been very curious about her and want to know what all she can do," he said.

Trung Le's mother Kim is happy to have Aiko at home, even though she makes an unusual granddaughter. "She's like a family member now."

Shotgun wedding as Vice-Presidential nominee's daughter announces she's pregnant

John McCain's running mate Sarah Palin announced today that her 17-year-old unmarried daughter is five months pregnant. There's also an internet rumour that Palin's youngest son, born in April, was actually her daughter's son.

A statement released by the McCain/Palin campaign said that Bristol Palin will keep her baby and marry the child's father in a shotgun wedding. Bristol Palin's baby is due in late December.

The disclosure of the pregnancy came on the opening day of the Republican National Convention, scaled back because of Hurricane Gustav, and three days after McCain named Palin as his running mate. Other news was likely to overshadow the disclosure.

"Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family," they added. The father was identified in the statement as Levi, but the campaign said it was not disclosing his last name or age, sparking concern that the boy might be either quite young or even an incestuous relative.

Sarah Palin's fifth child, a son named Trig, was born in April with Down syndrome (also sparking rumours of incest in the Palin family). Internet bloggers have been suggesting that the child was actually born to Bristol Palin but that her mother, the 44-year-old Alaska governor, claimed to be the mother.

Palin spokesman Bill McAllister emphatically denied rumours of falsifying birth records and incest.

"Senator McCain's view is this is a private family matter. As parents, (the Palins) love their daughter unconditionally and are going to support their daughter," said McCain spokesman Steve Schmidt.

The advisers said Palin told them about the pregnancy during lengthy discussions about her background. At several points during the discussions, McCain's team warned Palin that the scrutiny into her private life would be intense and that there was nothing she could do to prepare for it. If the birth was the result of incest it would be necessary to refute it strongly in the effort to avoid scrutiny.

Prominent religious conservatives, many of whom have been lukewarm toward McCain's candidacy, predicted that Palin's daughter's pregnancy would not diminish conservative Christian enthusiasm over the vice presidential hopeful.

"I think it's a very private matter," said Roberta Combs, president of the Christian Coalition of America. "It's a matter that should stay in the family and they have to work through it together."

NOTE: We have not changed or altered Roberta Combs quote at all. She actually said "It's a matter that should stay in the family"... after all, if you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family...