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April 5, 2011

Why 70s Fashion Sucks!!!

FASHION - Want to dress like a moronic person with no class? Think 70s fashion!

Seriously.

What we're talking about here is a person so obsessed with the latest fads that they're copying styles from 40 years ago just because accessory stores are selling the junk.

Lets start with that hallmark of retro 70s fashion...

OVERSIZED SUNGLASSES

My mother and grandmother wore these glasses (still do...) and that doesn't make them kewl. Far from it. I think they're gawd-awful-ugly. You'd have to have a screw loose to think these look good.

Next on the retro wannabees...

BIG BOLD BANGLES

They're just big freaking bracelets, like hoola hoops for your arms. They're not practical, they get in the way, and they are probably more annoying than anything else. They're so big in an effort to make your arms look smaller. So wearing them suggests you have an eating disorder and want to look thinner and thinner. Not cool.

Seriously, Twiggy might have been a late 1960s-1970s supermodel, but that girl needed more meat on her bones.

STACKED PLATFORMS

When you fall flat on your face enough times that you break your nose or chip your teeth maybe you will rethink these fashion rejects from 1970s that may look interesting, but I'd bet a fiver that you will be regretting them 3 months later and never wear them again.

Or maybe 3 days...

SHORT SLEEVED JACKETS

This is the only throw-back from the 1970s that we think is actually worth keeping. Its practical. Its stylish. I can see wearing it again and again, years to come. And its easy to find something to match the Tangerine colour (which is hot this year, so claimeth the fashion gods).

The end result? 70s Fashion ranks a F for Failure. It scored some points with the jacket, but the rest is junk.

Want a fashion tip for the future? Think Super Retro, Steampunk, Rolling Stones and Heavy Metal.

Now you may ask why Rolling Stones? Because we think its time to rehash that period. And while we're at it, Mick Jagger will be 68 in July. No offense to the old guy, but he has to kick the bucket sometime and then all the Rolling Stones fans will come out of the woodwork proclaiming their love of the band.

Likewise with Keith Richards. We could start a betting pool as to which one of those two will kick the bucket first.

NOTE: Its important to note that the Rolling Stones influenced male fashion more than female fashion, but lets end with a photo of Paris Hilton to prove a point that its unisex.

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